Skip to main content

Hope

You have made me realize that hope does exist. You have made me feel again. Just the glimmer of future has appeared. I realize that it might not be with you, but I am certainly open and excited that it might include you. I have been given the gift of feeling joy. I truly look forward to the chance for companionship. For someone to care for me. To want to spend time with me. To want to see the world with me and explore new things. To help me learn that I can enjoy still being alive. To continue to encourage hope. To help me dream. To help me live. And love.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

EMDR Trauma Retreat: Day 1

 I arrived in Denver, CO last night after a wonderful delayed flight and a nice wait on the tarmac.  I eventually collected my bag and met my ride from 11th Hour Trauma Retreat for a ride to the hotel. Thankfully, there were no more delays. Checking into the hotel was easy-peasy. My hotel room came with a little kitchen area, which came in handy because all the restaurants were already closed by the time I arrived. The front desk sold a small collection of frozen dinners, ice cream and sodas - so I was all set. I unpacked and collapsed into bed.  The hotel provides breakfast every morning, which is a great bonus! My therapist picked me up from the hotel at 8am and we were off for a full day of therapy fun. Haha!  We started the morning off with lots of paperwork, which included different assessments for depression, anxiety, and other things. We talked about the basics of EMDR and how talk therapy works vs EMDR and why they are both important in healing. We took break...
2 comments
Read more

EMDR Trauma Retreat: Day 5

 Today started with a little more dread because I knew we would be tackling the car crash today. I really struggled today, as one might imagine I might. We spent most of the day just trying to desensitize me from the numbness I've built up over the past 4.5 years and allow me to feel feelings related to this again. I feel like we were lightly successful. I'm trying to be kind to myself. One of the cool things was that I imagined reaching out to a friend and then after a round checked my phone and found a text from them checking in at about the same time I'd imagined reaching out to them for help. <3   I came back to my room and collapsed for a nap and I'm waiting for dinner to be delivered. I might do laundry tonight, but I might wait until tomorrow. Oooohhhhh, such big things happening here. Haha!  I've decided that it's important for me to share several articles from the crash as well as for me to review them again, so if you decide to look at them - here t...
Post a Comment
Read more

EMDR Trauma Retreat: Day 8

  Today was Day 8 of the Trauma Retreat which can otherwise be known as an EMDR Intensive. We tackled 2 more triggers today, my dad's death from AML and my POTS diagnosis and my continual struggle with it. We did some positive future resource building on my POTS and dealing with my inner critic. We did a little bit more parts work and identified some of the values my wise adult possesses. We also talked through defense mechanisms, how to challenge negative thoughts and several other helpful things.  I was also challenged that instead of Keeping it Real (like I like to do) that I should consider Keeping it Kind. This really needs to start with me being kind to myself. It's something I will ponder on. Then they set me loose - just kidding! They dropped me off downtown Denver at a hotel I'd reserved for my next part of this adventure. I knew that I would need to spend more time healing after finishing up my EMDR adventure so I'm not headed back to AZ (home) just yet. Sta...
Post a Comment
Read more