Alone Until Eternity

I had time to sit and ponder today - and decided it's time to write down what I want. Strangely enough (to me, at least) I've begun to think about dating again. So - on that topic, I've made a list of what I'm looking for right now. *A best friend *Someone who wants to know about every moment of every day - both good and bad *Someone who will cheer me on and encourage me - gently *Someone who is willing to pick me up and dust me off when I fall *Someone who smiles and their smile makes me feel like the sun has come out and is shining *Someone who is willing to travel and be adventurous with me *Someone who is willing to share their struggles and allow me to champion them *Someone who is willing to hold me, make me feel hope, and make love to me *Someone who is willing to love and support my girls *Someone who can respect and help me remember Kevin & Emily

It's been a year since I wrote my first post. I am relieved to look back at the post and see how far I have come. I'm healing. I still hate being alone. I still hate that I have to do this alone. But, I can say those things without the bitterness that I hear in my previous post. I was blessed this year with a wonderful friend who took time out of his busy family life to give my girls back-to-school blessings. He took time to remember that I don't have anyone to give those. He took time to ask the girls what they were concerned with and what types of blessings they might want from Heavenly Father. So much is still the same as last year, but so much has changed as well. Thankfully, it stings just a little bit less this year.

You have made me realize that hope does exist. You have made me feel again. Just the glimmer of future has appeared. I realize that it might not be with you, but I am certainly open and excited that it might include you. I have been given the gift of feeling joy. I truly look forward to the chance for companionship. For someone to care for me. To want to spend time with me. To want to see the world with me and explore new things. To help me learn that I can enjoy still being alive. To continue to encourage hope. To help me dream. To help me live. And love.

I decided to make a list of what really mattered for my kids as we approached back to school time. Here's my list: * Kid has clothes on * Kid makes it to school * Kid has money available on their lunch account Things that I do not expect: * Kid has backpack * Kid has homework completed (or in backpack) * Kid has hair brushed #notjoking

Favorite Quote of the day: "Grieving is a process we go through that helps us let go of hopes and dreams we no longer have. It's a process that helps us obtain new hopes and dreams." -Kent Allen #WWConference2018