The Sister Missionaries visited with us last week and were testifying that Heavenly Father can help us with the every day trials. My response to them - to hopefully convince them to change the subject - was that I wish I had every day trials again. They continued to testify of every day trials and I had to shut them down. I don't care that He can help with every day trials. My life doesn't fit in that box anymore. Testify of Him being able to help us through colossal trials - ones where there is NO light at the end - only death - and that isn't coming fast enough. Yes, I want to die. But NO - I won't be making that happen. Yes - I'm not making great life choices but when someone jokes about such and such killing me... it's not really an incentive to stop. I'm miserable and lonely.